Ins and Outs of Bridal Shower Etiquette

New to bridal showers? If you’ve just been invited to your first bridal shower, or you’re a bridesmaid for the first time, worry not! We’ll break down the ins and outs of a bridal shower and everything you need to know to attend or plan a bridal shower.

What is a Bridal Shower?

A bridal shower is a time for wedding guests to celebrate with the bride before the wedding. Traditionally, guests are women who are close to the bride, like her family, friends, and wedding party. Guests bring gifts for the bride’s new home. Bridal showers are a much more intimate gathering than a celebration like the wedding reception, and they take place during the day for just a couple hours. 

Bridal Shower Planning

With so much going on before the wedding, it’s easy to get caught up in it all. Fortunately, planning a bridal shower doesn’t need to be an elaborate affair. We break down some of the steps to planning a fantastic bridal shower and answer some commonly asked questions. 

Who Throws the Bridal Shower?

When it comes to hosting the bridal shower, the responsibility typically falls to the maid of honor and other members of the wedding party. Bridesmaids may be expected to pitch in and help plan the festivities. The bride’s family, especially her mother, can also help with some of the planning.

At one time, it was considered rude for the bride’s family to plan a wedding shower because it would seem like they were asking for gifts. Now, this isn’t the case, which is wonderful since the bride’s family can be an enormous help. Her family knows her best and can plan a guest list for the bridal shower or design a theme the bride will adore. Arranging a bridal shower is far easier as a team effort, so utilize all the help you can find! 

Whoever hosts the bridal shower should also pay for the shower. If there are multiple hosts, you can split costs. If cost is an issue, keep the bridal shower simple. You can skip an elaborate venue and host it at someone’s house with homemade decor. Even basic bridal showers can turn into upscale events with some DIY magic. 

Typically, the bride won’t play too much of a role in hosting the bridal shower. After all, this party is to honor her, and she’s occupied with other wedding details. However, she probably wants some say in the decision-making process, so you can always ask for the bride’s input, whether it’s about the venue, theme, or guest list. She likely has a few ideas, and she can decide if she wants a bridal shower at all.

If the bride wants to be surprised, then you can leave her out of the planning process, but always keep her preferences in mind. 

When Do You Have a Bridal Shower?

There’s no set time for a bridal shower, and there’s a wide range of time when you can host one. Wedding timelines are usually about a year long, and bridal showers can be held anywhere from four months to two weeks before the wedding date.

Keep in mind the bride’s schedule. While it makes sense to throw a bridal shower closer to the wedding, the weeks leading up to the wedding day become more and more hectic.

Additionally, the bride, her family, and her friends may need to do some traveling for the bridal shower, so find a day that works for everyone. Don’t be surprised if some of the invited guests won’t be able to attend, but the wedding party and immediate family members should be at the shower. 

If the bride has multiple bridal showers, for example, one with her family and another with her friends, make sure they aren’t planned for the same date. 

Who is Invited to a Bridal Shower?

Before you send out invites for the bridal shower, take a peek at the wedding guest list. Only guests who are invited to the wedding ceremony and reception should be invited to the bridal shower.

If you’re following tradition, invite female guests, specifically family members, bridesmaids, and close friends. Immediate family members, like the bride’s mother and sisters, should be invited to the bridal shower. You can invite the groom’s mother and some of the groom’s family members to the bridal shower as well. 

Here is where the bride should have some say in the bridal shower planning. Go over the guest list with her and see if there are any guests she’d like to add to the list. If the bride isn’t available or wants all the details of the shower to be a surprise, then ask her mother, the maid of honor, or other bridesmaids for their input in the guest list.

When Should You Send Out Invitations?

Just as with wedding invitations, make sure you send out invitations to the bridal shower well in advance. This gives guests the opportunity to make any travel arrangements and plan their schedule accordingly so they can come to this important event.

We recommend sending out your invitations at least a month before the bridal shower, if not more. Ideally, give your guests around six to eight weeks notice. Make sure you include an option to RSVP with your invitations so you know how many guests to expect.

It’s up to you whether you’d like to send out invitations through mail or email. Physical invitations tend to give off a more formal and classy vibe, and you can find some gorgeous stationary to print fun and whimsical invitations. Still, inviting guests with an evite is just so quick and simple. It’s also easier to keep track of RSVPs.

Regardless of whether you send invitations through snail mail or email, remember to follow up with potential guests if you don’t receive a response. Your invite might have gotten lost in the mail or mistakenly ended up in the junk folder. 

Where Do You Host a Bridal Shower?

Finding a location for a bridal shower isn’t nearly as much work as booking a wedding venue. That being said, it’s still important to keep this on a list of priorities when planning a bridal shower. 

Keeping the bridal shower a low-key event? Have the maid of honor or bride’s mother host the party at her house. For a bridal shower in the spring or summer, having it in someone’s backyard is a great option. You can take advantage of the beautiful weather and blooming flowers and enjoy your time with the bride and her loved ones. 

If you aren’t able to host the bridal shower at someone’s house, consider making reservations at a local restaurant. You can choose the bride’s favorite restaurant or a more formal restaurant as a part of the celebration. Be sure to make accommodations beforehand.

Once you finalize the guest list, you’ll need to tell the restaurant how many people are attending. If the bridal shower is a small group of only 10 or so people, you might be able to get away with walking into the restaurant on the day of the shower. Still, it’s always good practice to book a reservation. With a large group, you may need to rent a room. 

Similar to a restaurant, you can also host your wedding shower at a hotel. With a hotel, you have the option of renting out a ballroom. However, that’s likely to take more planning as you also need to find options for catering. Hotels also have restaurants that make great spots for bridal showers, especially if the restaurant serves high tea in the afternoon.

For more unique locations for a bridal shower, consider a spa day, a cooking or baking class, or a wine tasting tour. These activities are less traditional than a bridal shower with food, cocktails, and games, but all the guests can still participate in an activity as a group. With these options, you’ll also need to plan further in advance to ensure that the venue can provide services for your entire party. 

Does the Groom Go to the Bridal Shower?

Traditionally, a groom shows up to the end of the bridal shower with flowers along with helping with the presents. This is perfectly acceptable for a bridal shower, but some couples prefer to stay more involved with the wedding festivities together. In this case, you can choose to throw a couples’ shower where both members of the couple attend. You can invite family and friends from both sides of the couple, and everyone can be involved in planning the wedding shower. 

What Do You Do at a Bridal Shower?

Ultimately, bridal showers are about celebrating with the bride-to-be. Guests can expect to enjoy food and drinks, as well as dessert like cake. There are a number of bridal shower games to play, and of course, some of the shower will be spent watching the bride open gifts. 

Games and other activities should be tailored to what the bride enjoys as well as being entertained for guests. At venues like spas and vineyards, guests can get a facial, massage, or taste fine wines. For these venues, you’ll be able to spend less time thinking of creative games. However, even if you’re hosting a bridal shower at your house, there are plenty of simple yet fun activities. 

For showers where the couple is both present, you can play the newlywed game to see how well the couple knows each other. To make it more interactive for guests, they can also take their guesses and answer the same questions. Other games include Two Truths and a Lie or a version of Bingo, where you talk to the guests and find people who have traveled to Europe, been married for five years, and more. With this, you can make up your own fun facts or find templates for this game online.

If you’d rather pass on the games, you can participate in another activity, like a craft, or stick to simply mingling with other guests.

Bridal Shower Themes

While you don’t need a theme for a bridal shower, it can help with decor and your planned activities. Before settling on a theme, ask the bride or the couple what they’d like to see at the shower. Themes for a wedding shower can be as simple as having a color scheme or a theme can reflect the bride or couple’s interests.

If you’ve chosen a color as a theme, ask guests to show up wearing it. Just make sure to include this information on your invitation to the wedding shower! It’s always fun to color coordinate, and you can choose white as your color scheme or the bride’s favorite color. Whether you pick a color that will also be dominant at the wedding reception is up to you and the bride.

Your theme for the bridal shower can be primarily for decor. There are a bunch of choices out there, like beach, nautical, or tropical. Find some bright flowers for bouquets or use anchor-themed napkins while serving snacks. 

For themes based on interests, consider traveling, reading, or movies. With these themes, you can specifically tailor your decor. For traveling, put up maps, vacation photos, or dream travel destinations for the bride. You can also make centerpieces out of books or hang up movie posters. With these themes, have your guests get to know each other by making Bingo cards centered around these topics. Guests can mingle with each other and find out each other’s favorite travel spots, books, or movies while filling up Bingo cards. 

Lingerie Shower

For a raunchier version for a bridal shower, consider hosting a lingerie shower. This is best hosted in addition to a wedding shower. At a lingerie shower, guests bring lingerie as gifts for the bride. Talk to the bride beforehand and make sure she and other guests are comfortable with this.

The guest list for a lingerie shower is likely to be much smaller and only involve the bride’s close friends or the group of bridesmaids. Just as with a wedding shower, guests can expect some snacks and cocktails or champagne. In terms of location, it’s best to host this at someone’s house.

Bridal Shower Gift Etiquette

You may already know a bit about wedding gift etiquette, but what about bridal shower gift etiquette? To start off, yes, you should be buying a gift for a wedding shower and the wedding day! You don’t have to spend as much on a gift for the bridal shower, but don’t show up empty-handed. For the wedding shower, spend around $50 on a gift. A good range for wedding shower gifts is anywhere between $25 to $100. If you’re close with the bride or couple, you should spend more on bridal shower and wedding gifts. 

If you aren’t sure what to buy as a wedding shower gift, start by going through the couple’s wedding registry. Including a link to the wedding registry on your invitations can be helpful, but save this for the end of the invite. Some items on the registry might be more expensive. You can either for a cheaper gift for the bridal shower or split a higher-end item with another guest.

If you know the couple or bride well, you can go off-registry. Homemade gifts are also an excellent, thoughtful option. If the happy couple doesn’t have a wedding registry, you can be more creative with your presents, like gifting them a set of cooking classes.

Gift etiquette also applies to the bride when it comes to bridal showers. After the party, the bride or couple should send out thank-you cards to all of the guests. While opening presents, the maid of honor or bridesmaid should help the bride keep track of what each guest gave. Adding a little personalization to each thank-you card makes them more sincere and genuine.

It’s important to thank your guests for their support during this important time in your life! The bride or couple can also give a small gift to the host of the wedding shower as a thank-you. 

Conclusion

Planning a wedding shower is a team effort. Consult with the bride-to-be, and don’t be afraid to break tradition by hosting a couple’s shower. There are endless options for venues, themes, and activities, so plan according to the bride or couple’s preferences and wedding style. Above all, remember to enjoy yourself and focus on celebrating the big day!

The post Ins and Outs of Bridal Shower Etiquette appeared first on Yeah Weddings.

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